Anorexics Make Great Party Planners

Possibly one of my favorite Page Six items ever appeared today, a report on the Style.com book party for Candy Pratts Price. It reminded me of a sticker I saw in a cab last night, right. (The cab driver totally freaked out when I took a picture inside his cab. I might distribute it, thus enabling other people to see the inside of his cab!) In Page Six, we learn that at the Style.com party, guests like Zac Posen and Doo-Ri Chung were served a menu of champagne, almonds and cheese sticks. That's all. No doubt it was some anorexic underling who planned the party, not Anna herself, as the Post implies. As the spy notes, "Everything was white, and there was no bar, no branding - just emaciated models eating cheese sticks."

Don't even think about actual cheese, that fatty, disgusting substance. Or passed hors d'oeuvres, which are certainly a waste of money. Besides, no one has figured out a way to pass sashimi. It's not like anyone's going to eat rice, for Christ's sake. Did you say pigs in a blanket? If I hadn't thrown up after lunch already I'd be throwing up now. The thought of these fashion icons - I mean, it's Lazaro Hernandez and Jack McCollough, people - living gods! - putting anything like that in their mouths is just sickening. There are certain people that you just don't want to imagine eating, ever. And you want to pass food in front of the models, over and over again? That's just, like, inhumane. Better to ban food from the party altogether. Then there's no chance of overeating and getting that not-so-thin feeling.

Phew. I'm glad I got that off my chest. Congratulations to the cab driver for reminding us of what we already know (except for that drinking part.) Now, to that "spy" who dared voice disappointment over the fact that there was no food at the party, I say, come forward. You will be banned forever from Conde Nast parties. And as for the Waverly Inn, even if you manage to get a reservation, don't even think about eating there.


Sara said...

This is a hilarious post.

Anonymous said...

No no, not anorexics, wasps. Don't you remeber the Sex and the City episode of Charlotte's engagement party, where there's no food, so Samantha orders "a martini, 5 olives"?

bellastraniera said...

It does seem WASPy, but the high incidence of fashion people at the event makes me suspect otherwise. WASPs usually have some kind of hors d'oeuvres, even if it's just a cheese plate and crudite. Otherwise, you just look cheap. Horrors!