Okay, that sly Clyde - he got me. After corresponding briefly with Josh Ozersky at Grub Street (thanks for the tip off?), I began to see the light. It was all a cruel joke. There is no Proper Mastication Initiative, no maximum steak thickness or required goggle use in the works. It all seemed strangely believable at the time. It was as if Clyde Haberman could see deep into my heart, pluck out my darkest fears, and lay them bare on the page. 
Why was it so believable to me? OK, I'm gullible. Taxi drivers can smell it - they always tell me there's construction/tunnel traffic/a street fair and take the long way. But I remember a time at the height of fat-phobia when I could not find any potato chips with fat in them at my local deli. Even today, just the mention of the phrase "whole wheat pasta" sends me into a state of panicked paranoia.
Sorry for the false alarm. But is the world of enforced proper mastication far behind that of no trans fats? We shall see.
Clyde's letter:
Dear [bellastraniera]:
I happened to be on line when your e-mail landed. That column was indeed pure satire, with tongue planted firmly in my cheek.
Thanks for writing -- and for reading.
All the best,
Clyde Haberman
10/02/2006
Update: Eating Disorders Still Optional, Highly Encouraged
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2 comments:
Haha I guess this is what I get for getting all my news from blogs and not clicking on all the links. Actually I thought YOU were joking part of the time because I'd heard about the rest (the trans fat thing) elsewhere.
Sorry, Yvo. I actually read the article and I still didn't get it!
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